Gregg Doyel

Clearly he's an addict. He's an alcoholic or hooked on drugs or maybe both. Clearly something is wrong with Matt Jones, when all he has to do to avoid jail is to not drink, and he is in jail anyway because he drank.

But I don't feel bad for Matt Jones. There are too many people with too many problems for me to waste a shred of sympathy on a millionaire athlete who simply cannot stop pouring beer down his throat.

His attorney say Jones had a few beers during a round of golf, which is possible. It's also possible the dog ate your homework. Possible. But I doubt it.

And even if Jones is guilty of nothing more than drinking a few beers during a round of golf, he's an idiot. Who drinks beer during a round of golf if that beer can lead to prison?

Only an idiot does that. Or an addict. Matt Jones is definitely one of those nouns, and possibly both. And I feel sorry for him exactly none.

First of all, I'll be blogging more often. That's a threat promise. I'm motivated to get back into it, plus my boss is forcing me. That's a joke. Which part is the joke? You figure it out.

Second, Matt Jones is my new hero. He's my hero because he reminds me and all of us that the wide receiver position, known for its insufferable prima donnas, isn't as infected as we all want to believe. I mean, Chad Johnson is no treasure. Neither are Terrell Owens, Plaxico Burress and Jerry Porter.

But they're not criminals. They're just jerks.

Matt Jones reminds us that, in the grand scheme of things, a person can do worse than be a jerk. He can snort his underachieving career away. Allegedly.