Gregg Doyel

Pink shoes, anyway. He's supporting breast cancer awareness. Good for him.

He's on the field before the game looking very Viking-like. But he's not the most fired-up player on the field, or even close. The most fired-up Viking is some idiot named Albert Young, who wears No. 34 and plays running back. I've never heard of him, but he's strutting around and bobbing his head like he's Brett Favre.

Swear to God, this is a true story. I'm here Monday night for the Packers game at Minnesota -- the Brett Favre game -- and the first person I see when the cab drops me off outside the Metrodome is a guy wearing a No. 4 Vikings jersey with Favre's name on the back.

The second person I see? A guy wearing a No. 4 Packers' jersey with Favre's name on the back. Then it got ugly. The third person I saw had a No. 80 Vikings jersey with Moss' name on the back. Randy Moss ruins everything.

Meanwhile, the media is here in force for this game. Name a big-name sports writer, and he's here. Plus me. But I'm the only one writing pregame on Packers kicker Mason Crosby, who was booting 60-yarders like nothing. Apparently he likes kicking indoors. Something to keep in mind if the game is close down the stretch.

Look, Brett Favre is a charismatic football player and that was a great play in the pocket to elude the pass rush and buy some time and launch a laser of a throw toward the back of the end zone.

But poor Greg Lewis made the better play. That catch was friggin' absurd. The quarterback play on that touchdown was terrific, but the wide receiver play was even better. And that will get lost in all the Brett Favre love.

Just wanted to note that:

Greg Lewis made a hell of a catch, even if will go down in history as a footnote to the Great and Powerful Favre.

That's right. They owe you money.

They owe you money if you bet on Jets games down the stretch of last season and made your bets thinking quarterback Brett Favre was completely healthy. Which he was not. He clearly was healthy enough to play, but apparently not healthy enough to play well, and the Jets went in the dumper along with his injured right arm. But they never told anyone, not even the NFL on the mandated injury list, about Favre's issue.

They lied, in other words.

Who paid for the Jets' dishonesty?

You did.

This is why I despise Eric Mangini. One of the reasons, anyway. He's a lying, sniveling, smug little weasel who took money out of your pocket. He's all yours, Cleveland. May you have the 5-11 record to show for it.

It has come to this for Brett Favre. It has come to him inventing injuries to muster sympathy. Unbelievable.

Come on now. You don't believe for a second that he really has a cracked rib -- do you?

Favre's agent doesn't know about it. The Vikings apparently don't know about it. Nobody knows about it but Brett Favre. The only player who tries to pull off this phantom-injury crap is Ben Roethlisberger, and nobody ever believes him.

Look at it like this. My man Philip Rivers plays a playoff game with a torn ACL and doesn't let the media know. Favre can't even play an exhibition game without floating the idea that maybe, possibly, doubtfully, he has a cracked rib.

He's lying. I'm saying it right now.

He.

Is.

Lying.

Everywhere he goes, Brett Favre ruins things for someone else. He's like a cockroach walking across toast. That toast is ruined.

So is Chad Pennington, who was released today because of Favre's presence with the Jets. Pennington joins a list of quarterbacks who have been ensnared by Favre's drama:

Minnesota's Tarvaris Jackson, who has to wonder how much his team really believes in him after talking with Favre -- but not tampering with him ... suuuuure -- this offseason.

Tampa Bay's Jeff Garcia, who also knows his team was flirting with Favre.

Green Bay's Aaron Rodgers, who endured a month of utter misery while waiting for the Favre story to be resolved.

The Green Bay assistant coach who was sold out by Favre. The Green Bay coach and GM who were roasted by the Favre-friendly portion of the Packers' fan base. The Jets, for giving up a draft pick for a QB who might be washed up. Greta Van Susteren, whose journalistic chops took a hit with her ridiculous interview with Favre. And ESPN, which whiffed more than Adam Dunn on the story.

And the kicker is, I bet Favre sucks this season. All this misery he has spread, and he'll absolutely suck in New York.

 

And on Sunday I made it clear how dumb I think he is.

Turns out, I was too kind.

Not only is there a report that brain-challenged Brett Favre used his team-issued cell phone to incur tampering allegations with the Vikings -- so that's how the Packers got their hands on his phone records -- but now there's a report that Favre could be headed to the Bucs.

You know, the one team Favre was reportedly not headed to.

Just when you think Favre couldn't possibly be dumber, he dumbs himself deeper into a corner. If the tampering allegations are true, he has cost himself a shot at his preferred destination, Minnesota. The NFL would never allow Favre to go there.

And now, it looks like the team hottest on his trail -- Tampa Bay -- is the team he most prefers to avoid.

You've got to hand it to Favre. That is one stupid SOB.

 

The Fox News personality -- and close, personal friend of the Favre family -- didn't like that I made fun of her in my Brett Favre story up right now. So she went after me on her blog, and made fun of me right back. However, she ignored the stuff about being played for a fool by her super-tight buddy, Brett.

So what did she do? She used semantics to define the word "friend." Next from Greta Van Grammar: The true meaning of the word "is."

Plus she's very good with exclamation marks.

Apparently I was supposed to call her before making fun of her. Greta, if you want me to have your phone number, just send it along.

 

 

 

 

After wasting his time in the offseason last year, Reggie Bush vows to come into camp a better player this time around. He also says he will try to match the city's other young sports star, Chris Paul. Maybe Bush should aim a little lower. Try to match, say, Bonzi Wells.

The worship of Brett Favre has become almost sickening.

Chad Johnson is crossing the line from flake to genuine bad guy. (Bad guy as in "Terrell Owens," not bad guy as in "homocidal criminal.") For kicks, check out the pompous "no comment" left by Drew Rosenhaus via text message.

Get on the bandwagon now: Dan Uggla for the Hall of Fame. The one in Cooperstown. No, really.

The Red Sox and A's get an all-expenses-paid trip to Japan to open the season, and as an added bonus they get $40,000 each? Good grief. There is such a disconnect between real life and the life of a big-leaguer. Not sure if I'm jealous, or just plain pissed off.

You know what? At the time it happened, I was thinking the same thing this angry columnist in Utah writes about Derek Fisher: He used his daughter's cancer to get out of Utah and re-join the Lakers.

That Ultimate Fighter knucklehead Jon Koppenhaver -- aka War Machine -- has himself a new fight. If it's half as entertaining as his fight against Jared Rollins, I can't wait to see it.

 

 

Brett Favre retired so he could spend more time with his family? Only if his family has four legs, snorts and gets shot at with rifles.

Steelers LB James Harrison had no comment after his arrest on charges of hitting his girlfriend. Apparently Allegedly he lets his fists do his talking.

The San Francisco Giants found a precedent for pitcher Noah Lowry's bizarre forearm injury. Unfortunately, the precedent was from the NFL, and the player involved was never all that good.

Joe Girardi hasn't managed his first real game for the Yankees, but already he has been verbally slapped to the ground by ancient Don Zimmer.

You know how baseball players are mocked in the movies for speaking in the most banal of cliches? They get taught to say that crap!

The Astros' Ty Wigginton delivered one of his own children. Sort of.  This story is semi-graphic, but it sounds like Wigginton caught the kid in the shower as it was coming into this world. Nice hands, Ty. Manny Ramirez would have dropped that sucker.

When he was playing with Julius Erving and Maurice Cheeks, Andrew Toney was one strange dude. That hasn't changed.

Evidence continues to mount that Terrelle Pryor, the top football recruit in the country who has yet to decide between Michigan, Ohio State, Penn State and Oregon, is more trouble than he's worth.

You wanna know why, despite all of his transparent faults, I like UFC czar Dana White so much? Because he's a lot like me. He wakes up pissed off, for no good reason, and doesn't try to hide it.

 

LeBron hung 50 on the Knicks in the Garden, but he says what happened next was "the most unbelievable thing that's ever happened to me." What happened next? Not to give it away, but a man got arrested because of what happened next.

Amid all this love for Brett Favre, the fine people of Atlanta want you to remember why he didn't make it big in their city, with the Falcons: Because he was a drunk.

What the hell is a "sports sociology class" and why is an NFL player teaching it? And where is Clovis Community College? So many questions.

Whoever's wrong -- the Ravens or Terrell Suggs -- is a world class horse's ass for trying to massage Suggs' position into a few extra bucks.

Turns out Broncos D-lineman Marcus Thomas has an alibi for being caught with cocaine: It belonged to a member of his posse, not to Thomas. Hey, what's a posse for? Show them a grenade, and they jump on it.

Here's a politician who just killed his career in New York: He's begging Capitol Hill to leave Roger Clemens alone. Says poor little Roger has been through enough already. What a bozo. Both of them.

Former lottery pick Tyrus Thomas skipped practice with the Bulls. Just didn't show up.  Imagine the nerve. Just ... doesn't show.

One day after the Yankees threw a perfect game, the Braves couldn't manage a lousy no-hitter. But they sure did come close.

With Mauricio Rua injured and out, the UFC found a new opponent for Chuck Liddell at UFC 85. Unlike Rua, this guy can't beat Liddell.

UFC druggie Kevin Randleman is coming back ... against "the Snowman."