Gregg Doyel

Was the second shooter in the grassy knoll.

Landed on Sam Bradford's shoulder.

Gave Stephon Marbury a webcam.

Stole that video of LeBron getting dunked on.

Spiked the steroid test of David Ortiz.

Took the SAT for Derrick Rose.

Meanwhile, back on planet Earth ...

How about that woman? She accuses Roethlisberger of rape, despite a veritable mountain of evidence -- including her own gloating words about having sex with the Steelers QB -- that no rape occurred. But now she says that if he admits to raping her, she won't sue him?

Don't hold your breath waiting for that admission, dear.

On second thought ... do.

Well who's laughing now? Huh? I am. Loudly.

Ben Roethlisberger is doing it again. He's inventing injuries even his own team doesn't know about. Maybe he has broken ribs. Maybe he ate ribs last night, and got confused. Whatever the case, Big Ben is the biggest drama king I've ever seen.

And Steelers fans, you know it.

The guy's a great quarterback. Clear leader. Brave player. All of that.

And a first-class drama king, as I said in this article that  made so many of you so mad. Granted, the prediction was off. But Drama King? Dead-solid perfect.

Ben Roethlisberger is about to get paid.

Which is good. This is how that idiot spends his free time.

This is why NFL teams need to avoid character risks on draft day. This guy was a bad dude in college, and now he is being (allegedly) a bad dude in Denver.

The economics of baseball have been in place for decades, but Prince Fielder believes those economics shouldn't apply to him. Shut up and take the money, junior.

The same goes for you, Cole Hamels, especially since you had the nerve to say that you "just want to see some generosity." Other than the 500 G's, you mean?

It's a valid point: Why do MLB teams have to beat up on college kids every spring?

Flip Murray for MVP of the NBA. OK, not really. But at least he's not haboring alleged murderers in his house. Yet.

Some excellent points on UFC 82.

And some more.