Posted on: January 5, 2012 11:20 am

Marlins: 24 men and a baby

And the Marlins were doing so well.

They hired manager Ozzie Guillen. They signed shortstop Jose Reyes. They signed closer Heath Bell. They signed starting pitcher Mark Buehrle. They talked Hanley Ramirez into moving to third base.

The Marlins were all set to move into their Miami stadium with those shiny pieces, but then they went and did the unthinkable. They invited a cockroach into their new home.

You know his name. Carlos Zambrano. He might not be a bad guy 363 days out of the year, but he'll have two or three (2012 is a leap year!) where he just baffles the brain, alienates the fans, abandons his teammates, disrupts his clubhouse.

Zambrano could win a lot of games, but at what cost? What lessons might he teach, say, Ramirez?

The Cubs are paying Zambrano more money this season than the Marlins -- a lot more -- and the Cubs are paying that price just to be rid of him.

There's a reason. Apparently some lessons must be learned in person.

Posted on: January 27, 2011 2:50 pm

Marlins still good for a giggle

The Marlins are a Mickey Mouse operation, or would be if they were lucky enough to be in Orlando. Instead they're in Miami, where it rains every day at precisely 4 p.m., scaring away walk-up ticket sales. Not that it's all that dry in Orlando, come to think of it ...

But the Marlins have done it again, Marlin-ing themselves into the news -- the only way they get into the news -- by allowing their stadium to be busy during a June 24-26 home series with the Mariners. Because U2 is coming, and because the Marlins don't have the pull or the stones to make U2 reschedule, the series will move to Seattle. The irony is, U2 isn't even arriving until June 29. But the group needs time to set up its stage and so forth, and the Marlins are in the way.

I hope the Marlins play 78 games at home next year, and 84 on the road. Would serve them right.

And it's not like Miami cares. Until the retractable-roof stadium is ready in 2012, Miami is too busy ducking rain and killing cockroaches to go to a baseball game.

Category: MLB
Tags: Marlins
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